I just finished reading One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What I Learned About Everyone's Struggle to be Singular by Abigail Pogrebin. What struck me most was the findings of the Minnesota Twin Family study done on identical twins. The results indicated that identical twins separated at birth and reunited as adults had about an equal chance of being similar in terms of personality, attitudes and interests as identical twins reared together in the same home.
I recently read another article by Bryan Caplan, a twin dad and self-proclaimed "avid consumer of twin research", entitled Have More Kids, Pay Less Attention to Them, in which he also discusses the results of identical twin studies that indicate that "the effect of parenting on adult outcomes ranges from small to zero". These conclusions indicate that as long as we are raised in a loving home (no abuse) and our best traits are encouraged, genetics (nature) pretty much plays a bigger part than all the details about how our parents raised us (nurture).
I feel like these results go against my instincts that nurture should really play a bigger part in determining who my kids will become, but if it's true that nature is a bigger factor, I also feel a huge sigh of relief. For the most part "parenting" has only just begun (I'm not sure how much one can parent an infant as much as just meet their basic needs) and has consisted of the starting of discipline ("No - do not eat those wires"), letting them watch cartoons, reading with them, teaching them to share and socializing them. I can definitely give myself a hard time for letting them watch cartoons or worrying about not socializing them enough, or I can give myself a break. It's not as though I'm giving myself permission to throw my hands up and stop parenting. But I think these studies show us that lightening up a little won't harm our kids. That having fun, loving and encouraging them is enough. Caplan writes, "Focus on enjoying your journey with your child, instead of trying to control his destination".
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Cloth Diapers - If I can do it, so can you!
Just when I think I've got things under control, there's something new I have to learn all about. First it was cloth diapering, then it was making baby food and I'm sure I'll find out soon what I have to learn about next.
My husband strongly believed we should use cloth diapers. I didn't know where to start, which brand to choose, how to clean them and was just too overwhelmed with the newborns to worry about it. I promised myself once they reached ten pounds I would look into it. So after a couple months of using disposables, and feeling dismayed about the amount of trash we were producing, I started doing some research. With the recommendations of friends and strangers online, I chose Fuzzibunz (one-size) and Easy Fit pocket diapers. After I learned how to use and clean them (one rinse cycle with no soap, one wash cycle with soap, then dry), cloth diapering really just became part of my routine. I bought 29 diapers and a large wet bag to keep the dirty ones in, for a total of $675. These diapers last until the babies are potty trained, or until they weigh about 35 pounds. Disposable diapers cost about $50-$80 per month, per child so I estimate I would spend at the very least $2500 in two years.
The cost savings and savings to the environment justify the extra 20 minutes or so every other day it takes me to use cloth. I have enough diapers to last me two days, so every other day I do laundry. I do so much laundry anyways that the extra loads really don't stress me out. It takes about 20 minutes to fold up all the diapers (most cloth diapers come with inserts you have to stuff into the cover). Cloth diapers have come a long way since my mom's generation and are so easy to use. My babies are comfortable in them and they come in cute patterns too.
Feel free to contact me if you are interested in cloth diapering and don't know where to start. A friend of mine runs a business that sells cloth diapers, if you're looking for info you can check out her website: seatoskybabies.vpweb.ca If I can do it, so can you (as long as you have an in-house washer & dryer!)
My husband strongly believed we should use cloth diapers. I didn't know where to start, which brand to choose, how to clean them and was just too overwhelmed with the newborns to worry about it. I promised myself once they reached ten pounds I would look into it. So after a couple months of using disposables, and feeling dismayed about the amount of trash we were producing, I started doing some research. With the recommendations of friends and strangers online, I chose Fuzzibunz (one-size) and Easy Fit pocket diapers. After I learned how to use and clean them (one rinse cycle with no soap, one wash cycle with soap, then dry), cloth diapering really just became part of my routine. I bought 29 diapers and a large wet bag to keep the dirty ones in, for a total of $675. These diapers last until the babies are potty trained, or until they weigh about 35 pounds. Disposable diapers cost about $50-$80 per month, per child so I estimate I would spend at the very least $2500 in two years.
The cost savings and savings to the environment justify the extra 20 minutes or so every other day it takes me to use cloth. I have enough diapers to last me two days, so every other day I do laundry. I do so much laundry anyways that the extra loads really don't stress me out. It takes about 20 minutes to fold up all the diapers (most cloth diapers come with inserts you have to stuff into the cover). Cloth diapers have come a long way since my mom's generation and are so easy to use. My babies are comfortable in them and they come in cute patterns too.
Feel free to contact me if you are interested in cloth diapering and don't know where to start. A friend of mine runs a business that sells cloth diapers, if you're looking for info you can check out her website: seatoskybabies.vpweb.ca If I can do it, so can you (as long as you have an in-house washer & dryer!)