When I was four weeks into motherhood, I wrote a few tips down, in hopes other new mothers could benefit from my newly found wisdom:
Everyone says to sleep while they sleep. Sounds easy, but after the trauma of giving birth and the shock of life with newborn twins, this is much easier said than done. When they did finally fall asleep, (and miraculously were asleep at the same time), I would lay down in bed and find myself anxiously thinking, “Will they be asleep for mintues or hours? How long do I have? Was that a cry?”. I would measure how tired I was by the intensity of body spasms - you know when your leg twitches as you lay in bed? My leg would BOLT up, my arms would SHOOT out, my entire body would SPASM as though I was being jolted with a defibrillator. As the minutes ticked by, I would get more and more anxiety thinking about how little time I probably had to sleep. Sleep sleep sleep. My mind wouldn't turn off and my body felt like a clenched fist.
So Tip 1: Instead of trying to sleep while they sleep, try to relax while they sleep. Have a hot bath with some lavender oil or lay in bed and focus on your breath. With each inhale, focus on a part of your body and feel the oxygen flow through and tell it to relax. I had no idea how much tension I had in my eyeballs! Breathe in, “relax eyeballs”, breathe out. Breathe in, “relax shoulders”, breathe out. Even if you don’t get any sleep, at least you’ve rested; you may even surprise yourself and wake up a few minutes or hours later to a hunger cry!
So Tip 1: Instead of trying to sleep while they sleep, try to relax while they sleep. Have a hot bath with some lavender oil or lay in bed and focus on your breath. With each inhale, focus on a part of your body and feel the oxygen flow through and tell it to relax. I had no idea how much tension I had in my eyeballs! Breathe in, “relax eyeballs”, breathe out. Breathe in, “relax shoulders”, breathe out. Even if you don’t get any sleep, at least you’ve rested; you may even surprise yourself and wake up a few minutes or hours later to a hunger cry!
One thing I’ve learned is that when I feel completely overwhelmed and am balling my eyes out, tears streaming down onto the faces of my crying babies and thinking “what did I do to my life?!”, it is because I am tired. Sleep cures this feeling of utter despair. Even one hour of sleep would help my optimism return just a little.
Tip 2: Try to get someone else to take over for even just a small amount of time so you can sleep. If you don’t have help, just make it through what you’re doing with the babies and know they cannot stay awake forever. They will eventually sleep, and when they do, it’s your turn to crash.
Tip 3: Laugh whenever you can. Laugh hysterically and laugh until you cry.
Tip 4: Look at the positive. At least it’s not triplets.
5 comments:
Haha, "At least it's not triplets" was my survival mantra! I also really value(d) time away from them, even just 20 minutes, when there was no way I could actually respond to their cries, and therefore was for a short time no longer "on call". Any short errand will do, and if you put on a shirt that you have kept safe from spit-up stains it feels even better.
I love that you're blogging this time of your life, I guarantee you won't remember much of the first year without this record, I only wish I'd thought to do the same! I look forward to following :)
Jenny
Your blog is fantastic!
One thing I would add, as we've talked about thus far, it always gets EASIER! I remember thinking "this is the most difficult phase, and it's completely temporary"...
You're raising wonderful little girls and should be proud of every accomplishment thus far. Congratulations, one baby is a lot of work...two is unimaginable to me :)
Hehe, we said so many times (when you weren't around) that we couldn't imagine how people coped with two babies. I've never been good at keeping a journal, but I'm so happy that it was something I've found essential since Jackson was born. I love going back and reading old entries and it also really puts things into perspective. It's one phase after another and they all pass, some easier than others. The good things start to outweigh the bad, but there are constantly new challenges. And it took a while, but I think I'm finally in a place where I can actually picture myself doing it all again!
Hi Loranda! I love your posts so far...what a great idea, documenting your adventure. I look forward to reading more about the bliss to exhaustion ride you're on with your little bundles. Xo - Jasmine
I cannot count how many times I said to myself "she WILL sleep eventually". Sometimes it took many, many hours of relentless bouncing and rocking, but it was true, eventually she would sleep. Funny though, most of the time, it wasn't really that I wanted to sleep so much (although I did), it was more that I knew she needed to rest, to be healthy and happy. When she did sleep, I'd be grateful for the opportunity to rest, but I'd always be more grateful that she was getting the rest she needed. So begins always putting someone (or two people!) before you, for the rest of your life :)
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