To use paci's, or not to use paci's; that is the question. For me, paci's were a lifesaver. Our paci's stay in the crib, only for use before naps and bedtime. When I go out, I usually take emergency paci's in the diaper bag in case of meltdown, but I don't often use them anymore. Whether you decide to use the paci or not, please read the "con" lists on websites like KellyMom and BabyCentre with a critical eye. I have a major beef with the con lists these sites offer. Of course, many of the cons are justified, but I get the feeling the lists are biased towards a prevalent negative attitude towards paci use.
BabyCentre warns that extended use of paci's can result in dental and speech problems. It's possible dental problems can occur with prolonged use, like using the paci when the permanent teeth are coming through (around age 6). Most people don't use the paci that long, weaning their baby after the first year or two, before that becomes an issue. As for speech problems, BabyCentre says "using a dummy prevents babies from babbling, which is an important step in learning to talk and discourages toddlers from chatting, which they need to do to develop their language skills". I guess if your child has their pacifier in all day, this might happen, but I certainly think this would only be a con for using a paci ALL DAY, and should not be considered a disadvantage of using a pacifier to soothe before/during sleep. And I'll just add that using a paci doesn't "prevent" babies from babbling. Both mine can babble through it, or simply spit it out. BabyCentre also links pacifier use to stomach infections. All I have to say about that, is keep the paci's clean & sterilized and I don't see that as a major problem.
This one takes the cake though. KellyMom says, "Giving baby a pacifier will increase mom's chances of ovulating and getting pregnant". What? I believe this statement is based on some studies that indicate babies who use paci's wean earlier. So if your baby weans earlier, your period comes back earlier and it's possible you could get pregnant.
A) Not all babies who use paci's (mine included) wean early
B) Your period can come back even while breastfeeding and
C) If your period does come back early, ever heard of birth control?
It seems like quite a stretch to say using paci's will increase chances of getting pregnant. If I heard someone say "Yeah, I used pacifiers and now I'm pregnant again", I'd think that was the most horrible excuse.
Now of course there are valid reasons that people choose not to use pacifiers. They want to teach their babies self-soothing without the use of props, they are concerned that paci use will interfere with breastfeeding or milk production. It goes without saying that no parent needs to justify this decision. I just wanted to bring attention to my perception that these articles have an inherent negative bias towards paci use. Thoughts?
8 comments:
I've never heard of most of those cons... well, except the teeth one, which I think is more about the palate changing shape and causing the adult teeth to come in funny - although most adult teeth come in funny anyway, and new paci shapes might help with that issue.
The con that I've most often heard from my friends is that a baby that would otherwise be sleeping through the night, wakes and cries when the paci falls out. I know lots of parents that have been forced to wean from the paci (which was traumatic) because of this. That's the other thing: weaning. In general, weaning (from anything - breast, bottle, being rocked to sleep, co-sleeping...) is more difficult the older the baby is, just because they're more aware, habits have been established for longer, and babies now have the ability to put up a big fight back. So, in the end, I was happy that we never had to wean Adele from a pasi or a bottle, just because there's enough to deal with already. BUT, I completely understand the "lifesaver" thing - anything that you found to be a lifesaver is justified (particularly with 2 infants), even if there are cons... and who knows, you may totally luck out and the girls wean themselves from the pasi with no trouble. When Adele was an infant, she slept in a moving swing for the first 3 months because she wouldn't sleep otherwise (and yes, I tried a pasi, and she wanted nothing to do with it). I knew I'd have to wean her from it at some point, but at the time, it saved my sanity that she was sleeping peacefully in the swing. So, ya, a lifesaver, and I plan to use that swing again with a second if I have to, even though the transition out of it was a bit of work. So, I guess what it comes down to is what everyone always says about parenting: Whatever works for you :)
Ha... just noticed I spelled it "pasi"... whatever
I have given this a lot of thought. Went without one with Colton, although he was probably the baby that could have used it. It meant a LOT more parenting work in his case. In hindsight it might not have been the best choice to go without (although he wouldn't take it anyways), even though I was happy to not have to wean him from it, and... have to admit... proud from an attachment parenting standpoint to go without it.
BUT... when you have too much milk to start with and a baby with an intense need to suck, you have a big problem. My milk was constantly stimulated to come in, he had a lot of full tunny aches in the first months, and I had mastitis likely from boobs that were never ever emptied of milk, due to constant small nurses rather than more spaced out big feeds. A soother probably could have helped.
This is why I agree with the statement that using a soother might mean get pregnant again faster. Colton nursed around the clock, for months and months. There was no way my period was coming back. If he was soothed with a pacifier between feeds perhaps my period would have come back sooner.
But in my experience with Logan so far, soothers are again both good and bad. He is a calmer baby (Maybe because of the soother, maybe not).
My boobs are happier. This time I will not lean over a screaming baby in the car seat to stick my breast in his mouth. There are only so many times you can pull over! Car rides are much better this time around.
Sleep is better. We still co-sleep but I don't sleep with my boob in his mouth. It can be removed and replaced with something else, which is much easier on my body.
Other people can put Logan to sleep. It doesn't always have to be me, which is nice for Camilo and the grandparents.
I cannot always get to him right away. I have two kids. There is one of me.
What I do not like is seeing people reach for the soother and stick it in his mouth as soon as he fusses. It really pisses me off. Try to figure out what he needs before you silence him please, or give him back to me. Yes, he will spit it out and make his demands again, but he isn't as aggressive a baby as Colton, so I feel we need to listen carefully to him.
guess there are no perfect solutions,we just do the best we can. Must get to bed.
My apologies for how poorly written that was. Should have read it again before posting, but I really wanted to go to bed!
I cut Kingston off from his soother at 8 months old. I found it was more of a crutch for ME then for him. He never used a soother to sleep because I followed the strict sleep training methods (this being easier because I had only ONE baby to contend with).
I found I was using it to keep him quiet when we were out and about. He wasn't even crying...he was learning to vocalize and I felt like keeping a paci in his mouth was holding him back.
I most definitely feel like every child is different and each mom knows just what their children need. If paci's help keep your girls asleep and help get them to sleep, bonus! Kingston wanted nothing to do with one at night so I never pushed the issue.
He used the paci quite often until I pulled it away and he never once had a problem nursing. In fact, I went all the way to one year and weaned him then.
I strictly breastfed for 9 months and got my period back after 4 months...so that fact is bogus anyways. Silly people...they always come up with some weird facts.
The only thing I can't stand about paci's is when children who can TALK have them. It drives me nuts to have a 2 year old bite their soother in their teeth and try to talk through it. How about this: http://www.thenewstrend.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/0df185fdse-pacifier.jpg <-- Suri Cruise at just under 5 years old. YIKES!
We used a soother with Owen and he loved it, but we had the problem where he would wake up crying because it fell out and we would have to get up over and over to give it back to him. That was frustrating. Eventually around 12 months we kept it in the crib only for sleeping and by maybe 16-17 months we told him they were for babies and he had no problem giving it up. I think he fussed for 5 mins and then went to sleep. So that was easy.
Max has been an easier sleeper for sure, and he has no interest in the soother during the day. He is 6 months today and at this point he nurses to sleep and i dont have to give him a soother at all for him to stay asleep. I think he just has less sucking needs than Owen and he seems to be getting all he needs from nursing. He actually gets mad at me if i try to give it to him.
I think that there is nothing wrong with using one for a baby who needs to suck or who needs extra comfort so dont believe those sites. Sounds like you are using common sense and following your instincts, the best thing you can do :)
I nursed full time and got my period back at 3 months (and I know Jen did too)... no paci used... so that whole paci-lactating-menstruating link is bullshit. All women are different in that respect. Some take a year, some take a few weeks. Adele wasn't as demanding on the boob as Colton was (seriously Lindsey, I don't know how you did that). By 3 months, she was on a fairly regular feeding schedule. But, still, I was unpleasantly surprised to see it return. Felt a bit ripped off - particularly after 6 weeks of post-birth bleeding.
I've never thought about the soother affecting the baby's ability/chance to express themselves. Good points ladies.
I definitely agree with you Lindsey, about listening to your baby and not just plugging it with a paci.
And yes, following our instincts in matters such as these is always the best route. I am just pointing out that these popular resources (KellyMom and BabyCentre) seem to be trying really hard to come up with more cons than pros for their list. Some of their reasons for not using a paci are questionable if you ask me. Here's the BabyCentre article: http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/dailycare/dummies&pacifiers/#8
The pros are listed in a paragraph, without much explanation and the cons are listed boldly in point form. There are definitely valid cons to paci use, but these lists seem to reflect a negative bias towards paci use.
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