The facade

I walk out into the lobby of the restaurant; high heels, hot dress, hair straightened, makeup applied. No one can see the nursing pads stuck in my bra (I checked). I'm looking good, not going to lie (this cleavage is one of the bonus' of baby life). No one would suspect that 99% of the time I am to be found in sweats, hair pulled back in a messy bun, covered in puke, drool and other bodily fluids. There are a group of attractive people, attractively standing around, looking my way. I'm on the phone checking in with Abuela & Abuelo, babysitters for the evening.
"How are they?"
"What? SHE POOPED?"
... silence in the lobby. Said attractive people turn their heads away.