Tough nights & hilarious mornings

The past two nights have been particularly difficult. No big news there, just the way it's been. Orlando and I have resorted (as per usual) to sleeping on the pull-out-sofa in the living room in an attempt to escape, but alas, there is no escape. Lena's cry is like a high-pitched siren that goes off unexpectedly at all hours of the night, jolting us awake just as we're drifting off.

It's really easy to get annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed. Stomping around in the middle of the night, we trip over things, curse the decision to ever have babies, fall heavily into bed after each wake-up. It's easy for Orlando and I to take out our anger on each other. We're tired, delusional, pissy and not in the mood to get along quite frankly. We fight over who got less sleep, as though it's a battle to be won.

The difference it makes when we have sympathy and compassion for each other is astounding. When we speak with kindness to one another, recognizing that the other is just as tired and overwhelmed. When we can laugh hysterically at how ridiculous everything is (like yesterday morning when the girls fought their first nap for three hours and the cat decided to add insult to injury by puking on the floor twice where he knew we'd step). When we offer hugs, kisses and back massages to one another even though we are exhausted ourselves, suddenly we are a team again. Having him on my side is so much better than fighting.

After these tough nights, it's morning and we drag ourselves into the bedroom, flick on the light, turn off the white-noise and say "good morning"...

Then we look into those cribs and there are two babies, flapping their arms like little penguins, kicking their legs in their sleep sacks and smiling as though seeing us is the best thing in the world. The previous nights hardships quickly become a distant memory. It's impossible to be upset with Carmen & Lena when they are giving us those big, toothless smiles - before we know it, we are cooing over them. Despite everything, somehow we suddenly feel extraordinary lucky to have each other.