I was flipping through my journal the other day when I came across a few pages in the back, scribbled with various dates, times and numbers:
"August 24th
630am - 10minutes each
730 - 10mins
930 - 10mins
1130 - 10mins
315 - 15mins
5 - 10mins
630 - 15mins
9 - 10mins
11 - 15mins
1230 -10mins
145am - 15mins
430 - 5mins
530 - 10mins"
Yes, you guessed it, I was tracking a 24hr period of when I nursed the babies. So just to clarify... it took me 10-15minutes to feed each of the girls (and that was on the fast days - during growth spurts it would take at least an hour to feed each one and I'd have to pry them off). So that's 20-30mins just to feed, then there is burping and then there is trying to get them back to sleep before lone behold, they are hungry again and want to nurse. I remember at one point saying to my family that I had slept only 2 hours in the past 48. And I don't even think those two hours were consecutive.
I brought this over to Orlando to show him and he was like "What?! How did we/you survive that?". I think new parents suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Our brains actively suppress the memory of the first few months after childbirth. It is INSANE and I am still in awe that I survived that level of sleep deprivation (and continue to survive) in combination with nursing which puts such a demand on your body.
I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am for my family and friends. My sister-in-law went grocery shopping for me (without even asking if I needed it!) and my family and friends brought me meals multiple times weekly - because with all that nursing I needed a lot of calories and I had absolutely no time or energy to cook or shop for food. My brother pulled a night shift, my mom pulled many. They cleaned my house, encouraged me to lay down and rest, even if I was too wound up to sleep and were there for me emotionally when it felt like the entire world was going to crumble.
Even if we've forgotten just how hard it was in those early weeks and months, we'll never forget those who were there for us, and continue to be.
5 comments:
I've only recently stopped keeping track of when Jackson sleeps, and I was flipping through my notes. I can't believe how insane it was, and you nursing two babies... wow. Here's May 24 - May 25, 2010:
down at 7:20pm, up at 8:00pm
down at 8:10pm, up at 10:35pm
down at 10:45pm, up at 12:10am
down at 12:20am, up at 1:35am
down at 1:50am, up at 4:40am
down at 5:00am, up at 6:05am
down at 6:25am, up at 7:00am
nap at 9:05am, up at 9:45am
nap at 11:50am, up at 12:25pm
nap at 2:10pm, up at 2:55pm
nap at 5:05pm, up at 6:55pm
And at this point I'd been doing this for 5 months. No wonder I have a hard time remembering all the details!
With Owen I kept track of feeding/sleeping for months just out of habit after awhile. With Maksim I did for the first couple days, but then I stopped. Ive been waking him to eat every 2-3 hours during the day (as my midwife asked me to when he lost so much weight and had really high bilirubin) and letting him sleep as long as he will during the night.
Max is only 2 weeks old and I feel relatively well-rested, and I think its a combination of him being a calm happy sleepy (and easy burping!) baby and me not keeping track of (how little) sleep im getting so Im just not aware of it.
You are right though - it really is incredible how one can get by with so little consecutive sleep for an extended period of time...
As I've said before, you are VERY lucky to have had support, it makes a huge difference! I am so glad you kept up the breastfeeding because most twin moms I know gave up very quickly in the beginning because they could not deal with the constant nursing. It can be very exhausting and painful but its so worth it! And it does get easier!
Reading this post, it reminds me of exactly what Jenny used to say in the weeks and months after Lydia and Sophia were born. I think this is why Jenny is on a personal crusade to warn all mothers-to-be to sleep every possible minute they can before the delivery. I always say to her, "let them enjoy a few more weeks of ignorance!" and she says, "they have to know! no one warned me and I wish I would have slept more before they came." You twin moms (and dads!) amaze me.
I kept colour-coded excel spreadsheets of Adele's days for 4 months, and then again every time she regressed and I had to actively sleep-train. People thought I was insane, but looking back through them reassured me that she was making progress and it was getting easier (which is hard to remember sometimes when it's just that much longer since you had any real consecutive sleep).
And, yes, you amaze me.
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