Week One

I started blogging again thinking I would write about the differences between having one baby and having twins, and so far, absolutely everything has been completely different. From the single "normal" pregnancy, to the birth that started naturally, progressed and ended beautifully, to the first week with one baby to hold, feed and bond with. There is no anxiety so far, the recovery has been so much easier and there is no shock of becoming a first time mom. I am so grateful to have this experience.

I'm so much more relaxed this time around, as I think many second time moms tend to be. I know what to expect, and how to breastfeed, I'm already bonded with him (which happened much faster than with the girls),  and nighttime is infinitely easier only having to nurse and comfort one baby.

What I didn't anticipate was reliving a lot of the emotions I went through when I had the girls. I felt as though I could never give each one enough. From pulling them off the breast if they'd been on too long (as there was someone else in line), having to put them down to fall asleep because I couldn't hold both, not being able to bond/stare lovingly at them for too long as before I knew it, the other would need something. And now, bringing the new baby into the house, I am remembering all that guilt I felt with them. They are having a hard time adjusting to having a new person that needs mommy so much. I am tired and starting to lose my patience just a little bit more with them. I know this period of time will pass, that we will all adjust and things will be okay. When I found out I was pregnant again, I worried so much about how I was going to care for a newborn (because the first time around was damn difficult), but it turns out that's the easy part! The hardest part has been maintaining my relationships with C&L, and having the energy for them.

I am still recovering, we are all adjusting, and so busy, but I hope to write more about this amazing experience.

Thanks for reading,
L