Weaning

It's Breastfeeding Week or something, and ironically the time I have chosen to wean. I did it - breastfed two babies for an entire year. And frankly, I am ready to be done with it.

As demanding as it has been on my body, I am so proud that I have been able to nurse for this long. For the first three months I was nursing each baby every 2-4 hours. I repeat - for THREE months I was nursing EACH baby EVERY 2-4 hours. No break. No escape. No sleep longer than 4 hours. But we made it through and got the hang of it and slowly that became every 4-12 hours. Now, here we are, one year later.

I am excited to end nursing, and I think my babies are ready too. Two weeks ago I cut out the nursing session before their first nap, and yesterday I cut out the nursing session before their second nap. They have adjusted perfectly so far. I give them a sippy cup with whole milk, we go into their room and turn on the lullaby, drink from cups and have a cuddle. I enjoy it so much more than nursing. I actually didn't enjoy nursing at all. I didn't feel like it was this major bonding thing, I felt like it was a job to be done. I felt like I was the machine on a production line, and the babies were coming down the belt towards me ready to be nursed.
As I was nursing, I wasn't usually admiring the baby, I was thinking about the other baby. Was she crying, waiting in line? Was she nursed and sitting in bed staring at us? Was she trying to fall asleep but distracted by us in the room?

So as this year comes to an end, I have sold my breastpump, bottles and nursing pillows. I'm going to continue the before-bed nursing session and the middle of the night session for a while longer because it works for us, and that's it. We made it a year! It's time to move on, and I'm so relieved.